Bloomin Onions and Ox Penis
Updated: Apr 29
Last night I went to the Outback Steakhouse Restaurant here in Minneapolis. It's an 'Aussie; themed restaurant, but it couldn’t be less Australian if it tried. There are over a thousand of them in 23 countries and their most popular ‘Aussie’ dish is a thing called ‘Bloomin Onions’. Yes, what? It’s a deep fried battered onion entree that’s 1950 calories (the recommended adult total daily calorie intake is 2000 calories!). And it was as disgusting as it sounded (and looked). The restaurant didn't even have Vegemite sandwiches. Then again, according to an article I read that listed the most disgusting foods in the world (by country) and amongst the camel’s feet, tiger’s testicles, pork uterus, ox penis, cow urine and maggot-cheese was Vegemite. Come on. Vegemite is not disgusting. Yes, it doesn’t look the most appetising, but it fair dinkum tastes good on ya toast in the morning. Also under the ‘Australia’ list were witchety grubs and beetroot! I’ve eaten some pretty disgusting foods in my travels, so here’s a taste of some of the most disgusting foods I’ve eaten (and of course I have to show you pics of all the grossness in all it’s glory):
African sausages – Kenya Otherwise known as goat’s intestines. The boiled intestines, which were grey and slimy, were served dangling daintily from a stick. Looks nice doesn't it?
Rancid shark – Iceland Hakarl, or rancid shark, is traditionally prepared by digging a hole, placing the shark in the hole, pissing on it, then burying it for about six months until it rots. It’s then served cold ala sashimi style. Nowadays they don't piss on it, but it still smells like a rotting corpse. I was told to eat it blocking my nose, so I wouldn't smell it. When I finished eating it, my Icelandic friend told me me to smell it. It took me a few days to get the small out of my nostrils.
Burned sheep’s head – Iceland Another delightful Icelandic dish, but the good news is that If you’d like to prepare this at home, it’s very easy. Get a sheep’s head, burn it to remove the wool, cut it in two in order to remove the brain, boil it, then serve with mashed turnip.
Fried grasshoppers – Burma A local girl brought me one and when I said, very politely, that it was quite nice she brought me a whole bowl of them. It wasn’t nice – sort of burnt with gooey horrible stuff inside. And I had to eat about 20 of them - and this pic is seriously the size of the bowl that she got me!
Worms – South Africa I had a traditional South African entrée of fat black slimy Mopani worms that were ‘gently simmered’ and came served with peanut butter and tomato relish. They tasted like burnt sausage, and then the second crunch let loose the slimy insides which tasted exactly as I had feared a worm would taste like. As if someone had blown their nose into my mouth.
Frog’s brains – Indonesia I’d eaten frog’s legs in France before, but when I ordered frog in Yogyakarta, Indonesia I got the whole frog – including legs, eyes, stomach and brain.
Goat soup – Kenya I’m pretty sure this mug of soup isn’t in the Continental Cup-a-Soup range: Hearty Goat with Fat Globs and Grey Sludge.
Foetus eggs – Vietnam It’s as horrible as it sounds. It’s duck eggs with the foetus inside only a few days away from hatching. And it’s eaten raw.
Offal sausage – France I ordered this by accident. I thought I was ordering some gourmet sausages in a very nice restaurant in a Paris, but instead I’d ordered sausages stuffed with smelly and grey offal bits.
Anyway, so what's for dinner tonight?