For the best airport, I have to say Changi Airport in Singapore. I loved the free internet, showers easily available and the fact that I was allowed to sleep in an empty booth of a closed coffeeshop!

Thanks for the fun blog topic!

Lucie

PS Brian, love your books. You’re a scream!

Gerbie, after landing at ‘Bollocks Airport’ you can catch a train to Small Vagina Corner (Kleine Scheidegg in the Swiss Alps). Or you could just go to the Swiss town of Wank!

Craig, yes the cost of parking in Australian airports is ridiculous. I found this great ‘comparison’:

‘Taking into account modest delays, you may need an hour’s parking to collect a friend. In Melbourne that will cost $12, at London’s Heathrow, £4.10 ($8.50) and New York’s JFK, $US6 ($8.70). For a clearer picture of what an hour’s parking costs, try the Big Mac index: in Melbourne it is equivalent to 3.48 Big Macs but only 1.79 in London and 1.68 in New York. Even worse is Sydney airport, where an hour costs $15 – or 4.35 Big Macs.

My favourite airport is Dubai. Clean and modern, great shopping and, by the look of the locals, it’s more than okay to wander around in your night shirts

small detail I’m sure you’ll like.

The Zurich airport is actually near a tiny village called Kloten. Sometimes in the travel industry it is called Airport Kloten as well. Being Dutch, that sounds funny. Translated it means bollocks. So if you’re flying to bollocks, you might end up in Zurich.

I myself prefer airports that are tiny. The smaller the better usually. But my favorite still remains Mahon/Menorca. Be it only for the great girl at the second check in desk when I worked there as a holiday rep ages ago…

Love your work Must say I’ve been to my fair share of airports too. Here are my favs:

1. Changi – Singapore
Have been here many times over the years, often with very long stopovers and there is always so much to do. Whether it’s looking the 100s of shops, the free movies, sleeping on the beds with alarms, eating, going for a walk to the other terminal or surfing the net…time just seems to fly when you are at Changi I think the ’snooze chairs’ are something every airport should have.

I remember back in 2002 they had a live game show running every hour in both terminals that was AWESOME (mainly because my boyfriend and I won $250 Changi dollars to spend). It was called ‘What’s My Range’ and was a general knowledge quiz thing. We won! Was easy – all the American tourists seemed to know nothing…even about their own countries! If you won the round you got to pick a box that had an unknown sum of money in it to spend in the airport…up to $1000 Changi dollars sometimes! We didn’t have to spend a cent on duty free that trip! Wish they would bring that back!

2. Suvarnabhumi Airport – Bangkok
Now I remember the old Bangkok airport being pretty damn shitty. I had been there 3 times before but the last time I went to Thailand in 2006, the new airport had just opened and it was beautiful. Such a light, airy, clean place and HUGE! Really funky and modern with 50 places to eat alone. I had lunch at a great Sushi bar in the middle of one of the walkways.

I had a 5 hours to kill and that wasn’t difficult. I sat in a cool bar and had few drinks. Plenty of good shops to hang out in as well. BUT one thing that is very odd…no public shower facilities that are free. Total bummer. What you can do though is go to the traditional Thai massage for $10 (and the massage was great) then you can have a shower there. Is a great way to relax if you have the time

3. Dubai Airport – UAE
In all my travels I have never seen an airport with such a HUGE cultural diversity of passengers. Sheiks, Arabs in full regalia, Africans in traditional garb, Europeans, Asians…a true melting pot! Had WiFi, comfortable chairs, sofas, long lounge sleeper chairs in departure area and open 24 hours.

Worst airports

1. JFK – New York – USA
Really surprised at how crap this place was considering it’s a major gateway. Arrivals and baggage was old and run down and we waited a whole hour for bags to arrive. Was dirty and staff were really rude, which was odd because I found New Yorkers to be very friendly for the rest of my 2 weeks stay in NYC.

2. Cairo- Egypt
After arriving at the airport with a broken spine, thanks to a crappy old taxi that had no springs in the back seat, the airport was pretty much the same. Broken and crap. Well, in 2004 it was. Only airport I’ve been to since 1994 where smoking was allowed and it was putrid. Gift shop(s) was crap, nothing was open, toliets were rank and there was nothing to do. We laughed about how bad it was at the time though and were kinda expecting it…unlike JFK.

3. LAX – USA

What a terrible place that is. Took forever to get through customs and so we were running late for our next flight. There were no directions at all to show you were to find a shuttle for the domestic airport. Was just bizzare considering it is such a busy place.

My Top 3 Airports would be:

Changi, Singapore – I have a vivid memory of lovely carpets and helpful, friendly staff
Narita, Japan – The efficiency and atmosphere
Siem Reap, Cambodia – Compact, cute and colourful, no queues, no overabudance of shopping outlets. A lovely surprise after a challenging day.

Bottom 3:

Warsaw, Poland – Unpleasant colour scheme, dirty floors, unpleasant staff who regarded me with high suspicion upon entering Poland on a one way ticket.
Sofia, Bulgaria – Communist style charmless building, generally dirty, clueless staff
LAX, California – I hear you on the paranoia!

38 flights in 10 months – Awesome! D