On ya bike.
November 13th, 2009
Yesterday I went for a two hour bike ride on the bike track around Port Phillip Bay. It was a beautiful hot spring day (the 6th day in a row over 30 degrees) and it really is quite a lovely bike track that weaves through bush, past cafes and grand beachside homes and, best of all, along the beach (as in right next to the sand and lots of girls in bikinis). The Port Phillip Bay bike track even made it into the top 10 bike rides of the world according to the Guardian newspaper a couple of years back (read it here). It’s the only one I’ve actually done on their list, too. There was also a list… (read more)
World’s worst airport?
November 8th, 2009
I’ve spent a lot of time in departure lounges this year and it’s actually nice to be ‘grounded’ for a little while (although I did pilot a 737 last week!). In the past 10 months I’ve had 38 flights and passed through 24 different airports (and around 200 airport shops that I wandered aimlessly around in with no intent on buying anything). In one of my long flights this year I wrote down all the airports I have been to in my travels over the years (and yes I was bored – I’d seen all the movies and read the inflight magazine twice). I have passed through 142 airports… (read more)
Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
November 2nd, 2009
On the weekend I flew a Boeing 737-300 and successfully landed it at Melbourne airport. Well, I may have run off the runway a couple of times on landing but I did manage to get back on it by the time we came to a stop. Okay, I was actually in a 737 simulator at the Ansett Aviation Training centre at Melbourne Airport. And it was so much fun. It was part of an ‘event’ with the Australian Society of Travel Writers, which included a very nice lunch of yabbie risotto and kangaroo steaks at the Airport Hilton, then a few of us stayed the night (it was so weird staying at an airport hotel without actually going anywhere) before our morning lesson in the simulator. It was all very realistic… (read more)
Karaoke World Tour – Austria
October 29th, 2009
It’s time to jump back on Brian’s Karaoke World Tour and for Chapter Eleven we’re off to Kirchberg in Austria. When I worked as a tour leader for Top Deck dragging drunk 18 to 30s around Europe (the stories from that became my book Rule No.5: No Sex on the Bus) the itinerary would often include a couple of nights at Club Habitat, a traditional chalet in the heart of the Austrian Tirol. The quaint old wooden chalet had squeaky floorboards, squeaky beds, squeaky stairs and squeaky doors, but it certainly wasn’t squeaky clean. Club Hab (as it was affectionately known) had possibly the most debauched karaoke night in the world. The bar itself was nothing special. It was tiny with a low ceiling and the walls were covered with framed photos of the bar in full swing. And in full swing it certainly was. Most of the photos showed large groups of girls standing in neat lines at the bar with their breasts out… (read more)
And on your left is a kangaroo scrotum…
October 25th, 2009
I’ve been playing tour guide for the past two weeks with my American girlfriend Beth dragging the poor thing around a big chunk of all the big ‘tourist’ sites around Melbourne. We did Federation Square, the Aquarium, Victoria Street for Vietnamese, Royal Botanical Gardens, the Restaurant Tram, Crown Casino, the Caulfield Cup, St Kilda beach, Daylesford and Hepburn Springs, Healesville Sanctuary, a Yarra valley vineyard and, of course, the Penguin Parade at Phillip Island. And lots of souvenir shops. As a local you don’t spend a lot of time in Australian souvenir shops and fair dinkum do they sell a lot of weird crap. And I mean that literally… (read more)
Warm memories of Ubud.
October 17th, 2009
I miss Ubud. I miss the warmth of the people and, well, just the warmth in general. It’s bleedin’ cold here in Melbourne at the moment. But, it is great to be home and I’ve got a wonderful two weeks of playing tour guide to my girlfriend Beth who is visiting Australia for the very first time. Except, the poor thing brought along bikinis and summer dresses because I told her that it is warm in Australia. A ski jacket and mittens were probably a better idea. So, to make me feel warmer here’s a few photos from my time at the Ubud Writer and Readers Festival… (read more)
The role of Bintang in Australian Literature.
October 11th, 2009
Sadly, I’m at the end of my stay in Ubud, but I have had a wonderful time at the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival. All my ‘events’ went well – people turned up, no one fell asleep and I didn’t mumble too much. It really is the most fun writer’s festival I’ve attended. As well as the great sessions there were amazingly lavish writer’s dinners every night and one party that was straight out of Hollywood. The party took place in a ridiculously flash four storey mansion. I arrived late and there were folk lounging around on giant cushions around the pool, people swimming in their underwear in the pool, couples making out by the pool and normally conservative writers going crazy on the dance floor. Unfortunately I had to… (read more)
From kartoffelpuffers to nasi goreng.
October 8th, 2009
My liver survived all the beer in Germany and I’m now in Ubud, Bali for the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival. I ended my German Beer Drinking Tour, I mean Book Tour, back in Stuttgart to meet up with a bunch of couch surfers to attend Canstatter Volksfest (basically a big fun fair with huge beer tents in the middle). It was a Saturday plus a public holiday in Germany, so the place was packed with Germans in lederhosen. We queued at one beer tent for two hours and it looked like we weren’t getting in anywhere when another couch surfer found tickets for us into another tent. So, with ein mass (a litre of beer) in hand and half a grilled chicken I joined the throng standing on their chairs singing along to… (read more)
If it’s Friday, this must be Hannover.
October 3rd, 2009
I’m nearing the end of my book tour around Germany for Couch Surfing: Eine abenteuerliche Reise um die Welt and scheiße am I tired. The tour has been going very well, though, and the book events have been well attended, my couch surfing hosts have been wonderful and I’ve eaten and drunk my body weight in wurst and beer. So far I have been to Frankfurt, Stuttgart, Leipzig and Rendsburg and I’m currently in Hannover. I think.
Here’s a brief run down of my trip so far: (read more)
A forecast of wind in Frankfurt.
September 28th, 2009
Guten Tag! I’m in Franfurt at the start of my book tour for Couch Surfing – Eine abenteuerliche Reise um die Welt and I’m lovin’ being back in Germany. I love my German beer, and wurst, and kartoffelpuffers, and spatzle, and jaeger schnitzel and all that other wonderful German healthy food that increase the chances of a coronary. My first meal was bratwurst with sauerkraut and pommes (chips) followed the next day by more wurst with kartoffelsalat and a large mug of beer for lunch. For dinner I had kalbsbraten (veal) smothered in thick cream and mushroom sauce and spatzle (with another two large mugs of beer). And today for lunch I decided to try the local speciality ‘Handkäse mit Musik’… (read more)